If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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