All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just tell him i said nine months
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
