What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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