coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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