Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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