remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
