Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You took a bar mat shot.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
