I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
No more Irish car bombs ever.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
