i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
