Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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