Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
