I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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