Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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