your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Randomize