I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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