But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
