I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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