so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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