Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
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This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
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i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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