Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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