North Korea, Best Korea!
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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