after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
