2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
