I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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