maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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