Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Don't make out with my wife yet
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
