you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
