Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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