i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
