so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
