I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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