Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
