Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
