im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
