no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
