I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So much rum. So many feels.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
