Don't you send me to vm
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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