And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
