i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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