Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
