I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
