Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
