Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm experimenting with sincerity
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
