I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
