His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
