please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
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you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
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I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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