'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
