Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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