hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
