We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
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You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
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Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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