Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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