Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just high enough for therapy.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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