This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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