Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
