How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I will pee on everything he values.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
try to milk me bitch
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