you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
