oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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