did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
