people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
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