im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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