We need to rekindle our bromance
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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