I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I think a kid would responsible me up
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
