new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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