can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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