Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
