the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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