I'm gonna have a badass scar
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
