white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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