I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize